Xenos Radio Intercept

++ TRANSMISSION INTERCEPTED
++ SOURCE: Orbital Defence Battery
++ ORIGIN ID: UNKNOWN – reconfigured Ork vox-array
++ SIGNAL STABILITY: Unnaturally loud
++ BEGIN AUDIO FEED:

“OI, HUMIES!
Dis is Boss Grofnak Teefteika, da new rightful owner o’ dis big shooty station fing in da sky!

Now, I knows wot you’s finkin’ – ‘Oh no, da Deathwatch’ll save us!’
HAH!
Dey tried.
Dey’s bits now. I got one o’ dere shiny black ‘elmets as a teacup!

So listen up, ya panicky little runts down dere – me an’ me ladz is comin’!
Da Boss – Kaptin Zoggdar – ‘e’s got big plans fer yer world. Big loot. Big booms. Big fightz. I’m just ‘ere to warm up da planet a bit before ‘e arrives proper, see?

Now, if any of ya wants to be clever an’ shoot back – good!
Makes it funner!
If not, jus’ line up all yer shiny tanks an’ gold fings in a big pile so we don’t ‘ave to waste time lookin’.

Oh, an’ tell yer governor git I like me teef polished, an’ me beer cold.
If not… we’ll start turnin’ cities into crater art!

Right! Dat’s all fer now. Grofnak out.
WAAAGH!!!”

++ END TRANSMISSION
++ NOTE: Message repeated on all frequencies every 17 minutes, accompanied by distorted klaxons and rhythmic gunfire.